Him
by burningdarkfire
Summary: Every night, Fai is haunted by dreams ... But what, or who, is it that he usually dreams of? KuroFai, with AshuraFai. Songfic.


Him (A Little Too Not Over You)

No matter where he went, no matter how tired he was when he went to sleep, the nightmares followed him everywhere. The memories just wouldn't leave him alone, and they came back almost every night to leave him with tears on his face every morning.

This time, he had been in the library with Ashura-o. They had been reading together, and they had been smiling. It was just another example of a past that he could never go back to, when he still had the ability to forget about his burdens.

He had been happy.

Clutching the comforter tightly, Fai reluctantly opened his eyes. While he wasn't looking forward to another day, anything was better than a nightmare.

He shifted forward and inhaled the scent of Kuro-chan's shirt. Snuggling as close as he dared, he slowly let his eyes drift close again. Left with a warm feeling of security, he allowed his thoughts to float free until they reached the dreamlands again.

* * *

Another dream with Ashura-o. This time, Ashura-o whispered in his ear as he crouched down in front of something.

"That's it," he breathed as Fai felt a faint glow of pride at his king's words. "Slowly now, slowly … it's just not the same without any noise, is it?"

"No, your majesty," He found himself disagreeing with his own spoken statement. Really, he preferred it without the noise. It felt … less wrong. But his majesty always knew best. "It really isn't the same. He's always been a stubborn one."

"Of course _you_ would know, Fai," Ashura-o frowned at his subject's familiarity with the object of discussion. "Let's finish it off now."

Fai flexed his claws again, and a gasp of pain was heard for the first and last time.

"Doesn't that smell good?" Ashura-o breathed in deeply. "You did well today, Fai."

"Thank you, your majesty." Fai stood, not caring for the sight of the body now covered with the blood from a million different cuts, each inflicted by his own vampire claws.

"Don't forget, Fai," Ashura-o warned with a slight smile. "You're mine, and forever mine. I love you more than anyone else."

"I won't forget, Ashura-o," Fai smiled. "Just as you're mine, and mine forever."

"Please take care of the body," Fai's king swept from the room.

Fai, in a daze after having such a great time with Ashura-o, simply waved his hand at the body and let it disappear among purple magic.

_I love you more than anyone, Ashura-o._

* * *

Awakening with a choked sob, Fai felt a pair of strong arms around him.

_Ashura-o!?_

He opened his eyes.

_Oh._

_It's only him._

The body from the dream.

It's only him.

The tears started again.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Kuro-chan whispered, almost gently for once.

Fai shook his head. Nothing.

"You can tell me about it," Fai felt his hair being stroked. It had always been a favorite habit of Kuro-tan's.

"It's nothing." His voice sounded flat, even to him. A lie.

"Tell me. I'll be here for you, I promise."

_I can't help it, Kurogane. I'm so weak._

Shamed overflowed in his eyes.

"Tell me, Fai."

_I just want to be loved. All I need, is to know I'm needed …_

A sigh from Kurogane.

_I'm sorry it had to be you._

"I love you, Kurogane." Fai whispered.

_It's true, I really do care._

_But every time I look at you, I think of him …_

"More than anyone else in the world."

There it was. The lie.

"… love you too." Fai apologized to Kurogane in his head.

_I'm sorry!_

_But …_

Fai squeezed his eyes shut.

_I love you, Ashura-o, more than anyone else._

* * *

_Aren't memories supposed to fade?  
What's wrong with my heart?  
Shake it off, let it go  
Didn't think it'd be this hard_

_  
Should be strong, moving on, but I see you  
Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside  
__[…]_

_DAVID ARCHULETA – A LITTLE TOO NOT OVER YOU_

* * *

**A/N** - I don't think AshuraFai get enough love ... and so this fanfic/songfic sprang up. It was written a while ago, but I only recently unearthed it -sweatdrop-

Reviews please?


End file.
